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my channel for emotion since 2004

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never let go
<3 K/A/T/H/R/Y/N
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April 6th, 2017

Never gets old

never let go

When I meet someone else who's parent died when they were six, my heart skips a beat. It's been 21 years. It's unfortunately satisfying. Like an avalanche. You know the moment is a disaster but you know this feeling will never stop so you have to feel it.

When I get so sad that I'm paralyzed except for crying, I force myself to switch back to sassy, sarcastic, tough.

Because it's been working so well.

November 7th, 2016

Late night ramble.

never let go

By the time your mom had been dead for 20 years.

Read more...Collapse )

October 25th, 2014

long time.

never let go
It's been one year since Keaton and I went to D&B with Bekah and Matt. It's not fair that's it's only a year.

Life is still hard because things happen. Welcome back, LJ.

But it's funny that everything my livejournal was about has come to a peak. I'm with the man I've always known should be the love of my life. The subject of most of my posts over the last eight years. We have a home and a future.
I'm done with school. I have a degree in the subject I've been leaning towards since I've had this damn journal.
I still have my best friends plus more.

That doesn't mean life gets easier.

May 5th, 2009

(no subject)


so some big shit:

Just bought my ticket to california!  I leave june 23rd with lauren and i'm coming back june 30th.
I can't believe I bought plane tickets to LA. wtf.
We're going to a rave for her birthday, called EDC

Had a big fight with Jackie over 'considerate roommate rules'.
Long story short, she was in the wrong.  I just escaped last night, hung out with lauren and drank, then we went over to martinis to hang out with aldo.

Ended up dropping lauren off and going back to aldo's.
surprise, surprise... we're both back to square one after failed attempts at relationships with other people.
we talked about how we felt about our lives, ourselves, everything in between. we cried, made bad jokes, fell asleep. as just friends.  he's probably one of the best friends i have.
it's better than sleeping alone.

April 20th, 2009

(no subject)

never let go

ok so ive had the best 24 hours ever. yet again
got lotsss of pictures.

then played quarters with mike and elias :)
woke up very happy and comfortable today.

found out my creative writing is gonna be featured in panam's "Gallery"

went to work for only two hours, it was very chill.
after work/after party on 17th street after the amf [another music festival]
drank at speakeasy and heard an amazing performer..
hooked back up with lauren at cine el rey, listened to the best dj i have ever heard. www.myspace.com/djztrip
he actually scratched records. i was duly impressed.
headed to boiler room, got in as a minor because of my badass bar contacts [pudding, bo, and my bosses]
hung out with the flesh crowd and a couple bosses. talked about mike jones' weed, work, music.
i did a killer impersonation of one of my bosses [this fuckin guyyyy]
and hung out like friends and just talked a bunch of shit.
i love my life right now.

April 12th, 2009

(no subject)

never let go

inskeletonrock: you need a MAN
inskeletonrock: no more BOIZ
duthie411: yeah lol
duthie411: i think you would like ***** better
duthie411: hes the other one on my list
inskeletonrock: finally you have a list
inskeletonrock: instead of a
inskeletonrock: OH HEY YOU'RE AVAILABLE?
duthie411: lol
duthie411: hahahahhaahahhahahaha

April 11th, 2009

(no subject)

never let go

next time you wanna leave,
im just gonna let you go.

Comparisons are easily done
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned

Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes

April 10th, 2009

(no subject)

never let go

hearing about it sucks.
trying to forget it happened sucks.
but not knowing what to do is the worst kind of suffering.

if i guard my heart, they get hurt.
if i open myself up to someone, i get hurt.
damned if i do, damned if i don't.

for someone that has been so deeply hurt...
and did nothing to deserve it,
he's awfully quick to do the same to me.
way to go. hope she was worth it.

*I don't care if it hurts
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special*

April 8th, 2009

(no subject)

never let go

list of future purchases:

jewelry for my industrial
more books

this is exactly why i need a written list.
i notice things i need to buy everyday but i get home and forget.
i will add as i think of more.

April 7th, 2009

(no subject)

never let go

im sick of this meaningless bullshit.

i thought i was gonna go with the flow. screw that.
its much better to matter.
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